31 Foreplay Ideas: Turn Them On In and Out of the Bedroom
When it comes to foreplay, some hold a very narrow view.
Many believe it’s everything you do right before penetration, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Foreplay isn’t a warm-up you sprint through before the “real thing.”
Foreplay is the real thing.
It’s the teasing and anticipation. The emotional connection and playful touches. The little moments throughout the day that make your partner feel wanted long before you get to the bedroom.
And technically, it never ends.
When foreplay becomes part of your everyday lifestyle, sexless marriage and trouble initiating sex will be a thing of the past.
These 31 foreplay ideas will help you turn your partner on in and out of the bedroom, spark sexual excitement, and build emotional closeness.
What Is Foreplay?
Foreplay is any action that creates physical, emotional, or mental arousal between you and your partner.
It can include things like:
Flirting
Touching
Cuddling
Sharing fantasies
Words of affirmation
Intimate acts of care
Erotic teasing
Mental stimulation
And much more.
Foreplay isn’t just the five minutes of kissing before penetration. It’s the text you send hours before. The playful spank when you walk by. The soothing foot massage after a long day.
It’s any gesture that says: “I want you. I desire you. I’m thinking about you.”
How To Do Foreplay the Right Way: 31 Foreplay Ideas
Below are 31 expert-approved foreplay ideas, from sweet to spicy to downright delicious.
1. Share Your Fantasies
Sharing fantasies with your partner creates a bridge between imagination and reality. Sharing your desires is hot, and it opens up a new level of intimacy.
Start with something low-stakes. A sex toy you’ve been curious about. A sexy dream you’ve had. An erotic roleplay scenario you’d like to try together.
Remember: sharing a fantasy doesn’t mean you have to act on it right away.
Even just talking about it is erotic. The vulnerability of sharing something personal alone deepens attraction and trust.
Arya Tip: Ask them what they’d love to experience with you. Curiosity is hot.
2. Choreplay
Have a laundry list of chores that must be done? Well, why not make getting things done fun and sexy?
Choreplay is a thing.
“Do chores together, but make it a little more hands-on. Kiss your partner’s neck (and body) while they do dishes. Tease each other and keep it playful. Or include a power dynamic. Think: You’re the chef and they’re your little sous chef—you cook, they obey,” explains Arya’s intimacy concierge & product expert, Athena Gayle.
Try:
Doing dishes in your underwear
Hoovering while wearing a panty vibe
Create a sexual reward system for doing laundry
Play strip poker while doing dishes
3. Schedule Uninterrupted Alone Time
Life is busy. Desire gets buried under work responsibilities and kids' school recitals.
It’s easy to forget that you and your partner need some quality alone time together.
When’s the last time you had a date night?
If it took you longer than three seconds to remember, it’s time to schedule one now.
Block time in your calendar for you and your lover. Take charge of organizing a romantic date night and invite your partner as if you’ve just started dating.
Get dressed. Silence your phones. Turn off the TV.
Slow down and focus on each other, even if only for a couple of hours.
Arya Tip: Make this a recurring thing. Put a date night on your calendar every week, bi-weekly, or even monthly. Anticipation is the best type of foreplay.
4. Touch Them Without a Reason
Do you only ever touch your partner when you want to have sex?
If the answer is yes, then it’s time to recalibrate.
Soft, affectionate touch throughout the day keeps the nervous system regulated and the connection alive. Think:
A hand on their lower back when you walk
Brushing hair from their face while you talk
Tracing their fingers
Slow hugs
Placing your palm on their thigh
Spanking their booty when you pass by
These gentle touches signal desire and attention, without the pressure of having to lead somewhere.
5. Wash Them in the Shower
Shower sex is hot, but it doesn’t have to be all about orgasms.
Why not try washing your partner for them next time you shower together?
A simple act of service can turn a mundane thing like a shower into something more special.
It’s intimate. It’s sensual. And it’s surprisingly emotional.
Lather their shoulders, slide your hands along their spine. Make sure every inch of their bodies is scrubbed clean.
If they’re OK with it, wash their hair for them.
The steam, the skin-on-skin gliding, the scent of soap, and the soothing presence of you next to them? Foreplay magic.
6. Surprise Them With a Naughty Text
Sexting is seriously underrated.
A spicy little message in the middle of the day when they don’t expect it creates instant anticipation and ignites desire.
It plants the seed for what’s to come later.
Don’t overthink it. Keep it simple. Try something like:
“Thinking about what I want to do to you tonight.”
“Your body has been distracting me all day.”
“I’m craving you.”
Keep it flirty, not explicit unless you know they love explicit.
7. Whisper in Their Ear How Much You Want Them
Does your partner know just how much you desire them? Just how bad do they turn you on with their presence alone?
Time to let them know. Whispering is criminally underrated, but can be so hot.
Imagine this:
You’re both in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher after dinner. The kids are in the living room, watching K-Pop Demon Hunters for the twentieth time.
Your partner is lost in thought. Just as you hand them a plate to load into the dishwasher, you pause and lean closer.
Into their ear, you whisper something like:
“I’ve been wanting to touch you all day.”
“Your ass drives me absolutely insane.”
“Tonight, you’re mine.”
The lower the tone, the more intentional your whisper is, the stronger the reaction will be.
Watch desire bloom inside your partner’s eyes.
8. Write a Love Note
Handwritten notes are intimate, intentional, and deeply romantic.
Now more than ever, in the digital world.
Slip one into their coat pocket, leave it on their pillow, or on their laptop keyboard.
Write something sweet, or something spicy you’d love to do later.
It may be old school, but it’s still irresistible.
9. Acts of Service
All of us have overflowing to-do lists at home and at work. That’s why there’s nothing sexier than having your partner take some of the load off your shoulders without you asking.
It signals love, attention, and care.
It says: “I see you, and all you’ve got going on.”
Even small acts of service can make an impact:
Refill their water bottle
Prep their morning coffee and breakfast
Pack their lunch
Bring their car into the shop for an oil change
Warm up their car
These gestures make your partner feel supported, and can open up some capacity in their minds, which will leave more mental energy for intimacy.
10. Leave a Cheeky Voice Memo
Your voice is one of the biggest turn-ons. And voice memos can be much more intimate and personal than a text.
Send a soft, slow, teasing voice note:
“I can’t wait to touch you.”
“Thinking about your body is driving me crazy.”
“I miss your hands on me.”
The voice memo doesn’t have to be sexual in nature. Even recording a quick update on how your day is going can be sexy.
11. Sensual Massage
A sensual massage blends relaxation with erotic buildup. But it doesn’t have to be sexual.
Use warm massage oil, dim the lights, and play some sensual background music. Take your time and shower your partner’s body with attention.
Start with broad and gentle strokes. Work your way inward, towards the most sensitive parts of your partner’s body.
Explore their curves, muscles, tension points, and everywhere they hold stress.
Be intentional. Pay attention to their body cues and breathing. The goal is not an orgasm. It’s to make them melt.
Once they’re fully relaxed, you can transition into a happy ending massage if you’re both into it.
12. Roleplay
Erotic roleplay is a great way to build tension.
It doesn’t have to be complicated or theatrical. You can keep it fun and playful.
Try:
Strangers at the bar
Boss and employer
A professor and a student
Meeting for the first time (aka re-create your first date)
Roleplay allows you to step out of your comfort zone and everyday identities, which offers thrilling novelty that can skyrocket your arousal.
13. Strip and Tease
A slow strip tease is delicious foreplay.
You don’t have to be a dancer or be good at it.
Move with intention, play with your clothing, have fun, and be playful. Make your partner laugh. Then, seduce them.
Don’t rush. Hold eye contact. Make them wait for each piece to come off.
14. Undress Them
Undressing your partner can be an erotic experience.
Stand close, gazing into their eyes. Slowly, undo a button. Slide down their zipper.
Pause to run your hands over their body.
Bury your fingers in their hair. Leave a trail of soft kisses on their cheek.
Lift their shirt over their head. Toss it aside while smirking.
Give their body a once-over like you’re appreciating a piece of art.
Be intentional. Take your time. It’ll drive them wild.
15. Worship Their Body
Worshipping your partner as if they’re a deity can be a huge turn-on.
Compliment, kiss, touch, and admire them. Treat their body like an altar.
While you worship them with your mouth and hands, tell them what you love: their thighs, chest, stomach, neck, back, and any other tiny details they think nobody notices.
Body worship is a surefire way to boost confidence, which in turn boosts arousal.
16. Go Down on Them
Oral sex is one of the most desired forms of sex for a reason. It’s hot and intimate.
Nothing sexier than your partner dropping to their knees to pleasure you with their lips and tongue. It’s a deeply arousing act.
Take your time with your partner. Don’t rush. Settle in and be present.
Let this be about their pleasure entirely. Allow them to relax and drop into their body.
Start by stimulating erogenous zones before you move to the genitals. This will help build arousal and enhance pleasure.
17. Pleasure Map Their Bodies
Our bodies are full of erogenous zones that feel amazing when stimulated. Do you know all the spots that turn your partner into a puddle?
Well, it’s time to explore and find them. Start with the obvious:
Neck
Behind the ear
Inner thighs
Lower back
Hips
Lower stomach
Ears
Fingertips
Listen to their bodies shifting, for their gasps and moans.
Take your time discovering them. Your partner will appreciate it.
18. Edge Them Into Oblivion
Edging is the art of taking your partner right to the brink of an orgasm… and then pulling back.
It’s hot and mean at the same time. And can turn sex into a torturous, mindblowing experience.
Build sexual tension until it becomes almost unbearable, in the best way.
Use your hands, mouth, and toys. Control the pace. Watch their reaction. Wait for them to beg for release before you give it to them.
19. Sensory Play
Sensation play is a form of exploration that allows you to connect with your body and be more present. It’s also impactful as foreplay.
Try:
Blindfolding your partner
Tickling them with feathers
Running a velvet or silk scarf over their naked skin
Put noise-canceling headphones on them
When one sense is blocked, the others heighten. That makes every stroke, kiss, or whisper feel stronger.
Keep your partner on the edge of their seat by switching up different textures and sensations. Let them guess what’s coming next.
20. Temperature: Ice and Heat
Temperature play is a great way to build tension and anticipation while exploring the edgier parts of sensory play.
The contrast between hot and cold is erotic. Try:
Running ice cubes along their neck or inner thigh
Glide warm massage stones along their spine
Try heated lube
Use warm breath on their skin, followed by a cold glass dildo
Switching between hot and cold will heighten the sensations, sending shockwaves through the nervous system in the most delicious way.
21. Praise Them
Who doesn’t love being told how good they’re doing or how pretty they look?
Praise kink is popular for a reason.
Tell them:
How good they look
How sexy you find them
What you adore about their body
How much do they turn you on
How much you crave them
And watch them melt in front of you.
22. Read Erotica Together
Reading erotic novels can be hot. Doing it together with a partner? Even hotter.
Pick a spicy novel together and take turns reading it aloud. Hearing your partner describe sensual scenes can be the biggest turn-on.
Besides, it can give you some inspiration.
Want to turn it up a notch?
Try the “hysterical literature” experiment: read an erotica novel while your partner tries to distract you by going down on you.
23. Make a “Yes/No/Maybe” List
No better way to build anticipation than by making a list of your desires.
“Yes/No/Maybe” list allows you to communicate your wants and needs with ease. Here’s how it works:
Yes: Things you love or would love to try
No: Things you don’t like and don’t have any desire to try
Maybe: Things you’re unsure about or are curious to try
Once you both have your lists, compare them. You may discover things you didn’t know about your partner before.
And if your desires match… well, you’re in for a good time.
24. Watch Porn Together
Watching porn together can help you explore fantasies, spark new ideas to try together, and create an erotic mood for play.
When choosing a movie to watch, opt for something ethical like afterglow. Ethical porn companies have vast libraries of porn movies for you to choose from that cater to every taste.
Before you watch a movie, talk it out with your partner about what your comfort zone is and what you want to explore.
While watching porn can be fun and sexy, it’s definitely not for everyone. Only watch porn if you and your partner are into it. So make sure you're on the same page before suggesting it.
First time? We got you! Check out our in-depth guide on how to watch porn with your partner and read about the ethical porn benefits to your sexuality and relationship.
25. Make Out With No Expectations
Do you only ever make out when it’s time to have sex?
If yes, then you’re seriously missing out!
Kissing without trying to move things forward builds slow, deep desire. It allows you to relax and be present in the moment.
Go back to teenage make-out energy and try:
Hands in hair
Soft biting
Deep kissing
Lingering lips
Hands all over your partner’s body
Removing the expectations of sex makes kissing so much sexier.
26. Boudoir Photoshoot
Sexy photos, nude or not, are not just for them. They’re for you, too.
Dress up, pose, get playful and wild. Take pics yourself and share them with your partner or… have your partner snap them for you.
Boudoir shoots tap into confidence, playfulness, and exhibitionism, which are all incredible foreplay ingredients.
27. Make a Sex Painting
Imagine having a painting you’ve made while making love hanging on the wall in the living room. Nobody but you two knows the history behind it.
Hot, right?!
Making a sex painting is so easy. Get a big canvas, non-toxic body paint, and let your bodies become the brushes.
Touch, roll, press against each other. Kiss, tease, and stroke. Laugh and have fun!
You’ll end up with a piece of art and a memory that feels wildly intimate.
28. Try Bondage Play
Bondage doesn’t have to be about whips and chains. It can be romantic and intimate, a way to build tension and enhance foreplay.
Start with a silk scarf or even a soft t-shirt and tie your partner’s wrists or ankles together while you make out.
Alternatively, use your hands to restrain theirs above their head.
A touch of power play can be a huge turn-on and a quick way to add novelty to routine.
Make sure you communicate and that everyone involved is on board at all times.
And focus on how it feels instead of performance.
29. Try Couples Yoga
Couples yoga can be a great way to bring you two closer. It combines breathwork, eye contact, synchronized movement, and physical closeness.
It forces you both to be present and work as a team.
The stretches open the body. The intimacy of it opens desire.
Do a slow, sensual flow together in person or try a guided couples yoga video on YouTube.
It’ll get the blood flowing everywhere.
30. Spank Them (When They Least Expect It)
Painful pleasure can be hot. If you and your partner are into it, a consensual surprise spank can be an instant jolt of pleasure.
Spank them as you pass by in the kitchen, fondle their ass while you make out, or bend them over your knee and punish them for being bad.
Always check in and keep the communication channels open.
31. Make a Sexy Playlist
Creating a sex playlist can be super erotic. Do it together and pick songs that you want to make love to, or… surprise your partner with a playlist you made for them that makes you think of them.
You can play it in the background while you cook, get ready, or relax together. Even if you’re doing something, hearing those songs will always remind you of your partner.
How long should foreplay last?
Now here’s the truth. While sometimes extended foreplay sessions before sex can be great, you don’t always have that kind of time on your hands.
But here’s a secret: foreplay doesn’t all have to happen in one uninterrupted stretch (because when does that even exist?).
A flirty text in the afternoon, a lingering hug in the kitchen, sneaking in a make-out while the kids are occupied—all of that counts. It builds connection and keeps that playful spark alive throughout the day, so by the time you do get alone time, you’re not starting from zero.
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About Arya
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