Are you curious to find out how to give a sensual massage that your partner won’t forget? Well, you’ve come to the right place!

A sensual or erotic massage can be a great way to connect with your partner on a deeper level and help you spice up the bedroom with ease. That is why we put together a beginner’s guide on how to give a sensual massage with 15 sensual massage techniques you want to try.

What Is a Sensual Massage?

A sensual (or erotic or intimate) massage is a full-body massage that involves engaging different senses to elicit sexual pleasure for the receiving partner.

Unlike a traditional massage that focuses on muscle tension, a sensual or sexual massage is about awakening every inch of your partner’s body—physically, emotionally, and erotically.

While a sensual massage often involves stimulation of intimate areas and is fully focused on sexual pleasure, it is by no means a race to an orgasm. It’s all about relaxing and allowing yourself to experience different sensations and enjoy the feel of your partner's hands on your body rather than rushing to climax.

How to Give a Sensual Massage Your Partner Won’t Forget: 15 Sensual Massage Techniques

Ready to blow your partner’s mind. Here’s how to give a sensual massage at home, even if you’re a total beginner:

1. Communicate Desires

Before your hands even touch their skin, start with a sexy check-in.

Ask your partner: “Is there anything you’d love me to focus on?” or “Are you in the mood for something relaxing, erotic… or both?”

This is the best time to learn what floats their boat and how exactly they like to be touched to bring them the most pleasure.

2. Set the Mood

Lighting, scent, and sound are your allies here. Think: low lighting, soft music, essential oils diffusing in the air, and maybe a few candles to cast a warm, flickering glow.

You want your space to feel safe, sacred, and just a little sinful.

3. Gather the Tools

You don’t need a full spa kit—just a few sensual essentials:

Massage oil: No massage oil, no sensual massage! Rubbing your dry hands against your partner’s skin is not sexy, trust us. There are many different options on the market, but we love Bloomi’s Sensual Massage Oil. And if you’re looking for something special for an intimate massage, we recommend Foria’s Intimacy Sex Oil.
A towel or old sheet: To prevent spilling massage oil and bodily liquids on your favorite sheets, and to minimize the clean up, have a towel on hand and place an old sheet under your partner so you can play freely. We recommend you invest in a high-quality splash blanket, but it’s not a must.
Blindfold: Just in case you want to explore sensory deprivation.
Sensory toys: To expand sensory exploration, consider using tools like feathers or satin scarves.

Arya Tip: Warm up your massage oil before applying. Cold oil can be a mood killer, unless you’re into the icy temperature play.

4. Make Undressing Into an Experience

Instead of rushing through clothes-off mode, turn it into a striptease—slow, teasing, intentional.

Unbutton their shirt one clasp at a time. Slide your fingers beneath the waistband. Let your gaze linger.

Allow them to undress you. Or, have them sit and watch you strip from afar.

5. Use Plenty of Massage Oil

Warm, slippery oil not only feels divine but lets your hands glide with ease. Pour a generous amount into your palms, rub them together, and press into the skin with slow, deliberate strokes.

6. Slow Seduction

Slow and steady wins the race when it comes to an erotic massage. Think tortoise, not hare.

Move at half the pace you’re tempted to. The goal? Build anticipation.

Use long strokes, circular motions, and pause occasionally—just to let them ache a little for your touch. And make sure every inch of their skin is loved and cared for.

7. Introduce Temperature Play

Spice things up with some warm temperature play—get a sensual massage candle that doubles as a massage oil once the wax is melted. We love this one from Bijoux Indiscrets.

Want to turn the heat up? Use a low-temperature candle to drip some wax on your partner. Wax play is hot and thrilling.

Not into extreme heat? Not a problem.

Run an ice cube along their collarbone. Blow warm air over the trail.

Alternate warm massage oil with a cooler touch. The contrast will heighten their awareness and sensitivity.

8. Check in With Them

Communication is key beforehand, but it’s also key during the sensual massage, too.

A whisper of “how does that feel?” or “want more pressure here?” keeps the vibe open and sexy. Let them feel seen and desired—not just touched.

9. Focus on the Whole Body

Don’t rush to the obvious erogenous zones. Linger on overlooked areas: scalp, neck, hands, behind the knees, inner thighs.

You’re not just giving a massage — you’re building a journey of sensation.

10. Zone In on the Intimate Areas

When the time is right, ease into more erotic massage techniques.

Massage the inner thighs, hips, and pelvis before touching the genitals. Tease, hover, graze — keep them guessing.

11. Edge Them a Little

Bring them close… then back off. It’s called edging, and it’s a powerful way to build mind-blowing arousal.

Massage near their most sensitive spots, then retreat. Their body will be buzzing for more.

Repeat until they’re begging for you to let them cum.

12. The Power of Eye Contact

Eye contact is seriously underrated.

Lock eyes. Watch their reactions. Let your gaze say, I want every inch of you. Eye contact during a sensual massage builds trust and erotic tension like nothing else.

13. Breathe Together

Want to turn your sensual massage into a tantric experience? Try breathing together.

Sync your breathing with theirs. Go slow. Deep. Intentional. Breathwork connects your bodies and helps keep you both present in the moment.

Besides, deep breathing helps to improve blood circulation, which will heighten sensations in your partner’s body.

14. Use Sex Toys on Them

Bring your favorite toy into the mix — a bullet vibe, a wand, or even a warming plug. Just be sure to check in, use lube, and keep things playful.

A toy adds an extra layer of sensations, which can be exactly what your partner needs to help them get over the edge while your hands are busy massaging the tension out of their muscles.

New to sex toys? Check out our best sex toys for women to use with their partners guide.

15. Aftercare Is a Must

Massage can unlock big feelings, arousal, or deep relaxation. After you’re done, offer water, cuddles, or gentle affirmations. Let your partner feel safe, held, and loved.

6 Types of Sensual Massages

Believe it or not, there are different types of sensual massage techniques you can give your partner! Here are some that you can choose from:

1. Nuru Massage

It’s a Japanese erotic massage technique that involves full body-on-body contact. Both the receiving and giving partners are naked, and they both lather their bodies with massage oil. Then, the giving partner rubs their body against the receiving partner’s body. It can end with intercourse, but it doesn’t have to.

2. Yoni Massage

This is a tantric sex practice that’s focused on worshiping the vulva. The receiving partner with a vulva relaxes while the giving partner massages the vulva with their hands. The focus here is pleasurable stimulation and not orgasm.

3. Lingam Massage

Lingam massage is a tantric sex practice that’s focused on worshiping the penis. The receiving partner with a penis lays down and relaxes, while the giving partner focuses on massaging the penis and the area around it with their hands.

4. Soapy Massage

Not all sensual massages have to happen while lying down. A soapy massage involves giving the massage while in the shower (an easy way to take shower sex from great to thrilling). The giving partner washes their partner in the shower while giving them a massage at the same time.

And you know what’s the best part? You can get as dirty as you like because the cleanup is super easy!

5. Tantric Massage

It’s a full-body and genital massage that combines pleasure and spiritual work and is full of light touches. So, unlike regular erotic massage, tantric massage involves meditation, breathwork, and energy work. It can be highly erotic and connecting for both partners.

6. Happy Ending Massage

While all the other types of massages are focused more on the pleasure and the experience of giving and receiving a massage, a happy ending massage is all about the receiver reaching an orgasm. So, the giving partner uses their hands, mouth, and tools to give the receiving partner an orgasm (or a few…).

Sensual Massage Benefits

There are quite a few reasons why you might want to give your partner a sensual massage.

Helps Rekindle the Flame in your Relationship

Make it stand out

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

If you’ve been with your partner for a while, you might notice that sex has become less exciting with time. Don’t worry about it — there is absolutely nothing wrong with your relationship! It’s totally normal, and one way to bring back the passion is to engage in novel activities together. A sensual massage is exactly that – a novel, fun, and sexy activity that will surely rekindle the flame.

Leads to Better Sex

Another reason why you might want to give your partner a sensual massage is that it might lead to better sex. You see, in heterosexual relationships, only 64% of women have an orgasm during intercourse, compared to 94% of men. That is what we call an orgasm gap.

And one of the reasons why the orgasm gap exists is that only 18.4% of women can have an orgasm from intercourse alone. Most women require clitoral stimulation and, most importantly, more foreplay.

Explore New Feelings and Sensations

“So much of our sexuality in our culture is centered around genitals and fast release, that our body’s automatic response is to contract and rush in order to move toward a goal,” says Somatic Sex Coach and Educator Yael Shtainer. “The practice of sensual massage invites us to relax and dive deep into a vast range of feelings and sensations, from feather-light tingling touch to a bolder squeeze, slap, or pull.”

Adds to Your Foreplay Menu

A sensual massage doesn’t have to lead to sex. But, if you are looking for ways to incorporate more foreplay into your sexual repertoire, then a sensual massage is the perfect thing to include on your sex menu.

It will help your partner to warm up and get in a better mood, and it will greatly enhance their chances of having an orgasm. They will surely be pleased!

Helps Deepen Emotional Connections

And lastly, a sensual massage can be a great way for you to be more intimate with your partner and help you two deepen your emotional connection.

Sensual Massage FAQs

Have more questions about how to give an erotic massage? We got you!

What Oil Is Best for a Sensual Massage?

Look for body-safe massage oils like coconut, almond, or purpose-made massage blends. Want a little extra spice? Try warming formulas — just make sure they're compatible with your skin (and condoms if needed).

How Long Should a Sensual Massage Last?

As long as you want it to. Even 10 minutes can work magic — but 30 to 60 minutes lets you fully unwind, tease, and connect.

Do I Have To End a Sensual Massage With Sex?

Not at all. Sensual massage is about connection, not a checklist. It can lead to sex… or just leave you both blissed out on intimacy.

Level Up Your Sensual Massage Game with Arya

Listen, we know that trying new things, especially in the bedroom, can be super intimidating and overwhelming. That’s why we have your back!

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Curious to find out? Take our 5-minute Erotic Persona quiz now.

About Arya

Life is so grown up and you two deserve some play time. Insert your new bestie Arya — a monthly subscription to reignite the spark, try new sexual experiences, and grow closer with your partner. Don't hold back your fantasies! You'll get access to a personal relationship concierge, expertly guided activities tailored to your deepest desires and a curated box of goodies delivered discreetly to your door.

15 Sensual Massage Techniques Your Partner Will Love