How To Go Down On A Woman Like A Pro
Let’s be real: knowing how to go down on a woman the right way isn’t just a bonus—it’s an essential life skill.
And great news is, eating out is a skill everyone can master.
Whether you’re a curious beginner or a seasoned pro who wants to elevate your existing skills, this guide will walk you through how to go down on a woman with confidence, care, and next-level techniques.
Oral sex—specifically cunnilingus—is much more than knowing how to flick your tongue.
It’s about presence, communication, attention to detail, and worshiping her like the queen that she is.
Ready to up your oral sex skills?
Understanding Female Pleasure (Know the Anatomy)
Before you dive in tongue-first, let’s map the terrain.
Vulva, the external part of her genitals, has more nuances than folks know:
Outer labia: The lips that frame the vulva.
Inner labia: Smaller, sensitive folds that hide beneath the outer labia.
Clitoris: The pleasure powerhouse. It’s the little nub at the apex of the vulva, but there’s much more than meets the eye—the full body of the clitoris is shaped like a wishbone, the internal legs extending deeper inside the body.
Urethra: The pee hole.
Vaginal opening: The opening down south where the vaginal canal is.
The clitoris is where most people tend to focus during oral sex. That’s understandable, because that’s where the pleasure lies for most people with vulvas—the clitoris alone has over 8,000 nerve endings.
Double that of the penis!
However, we walked through the whole anatomy for a reason—being great at eating out means paying attention to every inch of the intimate area, not just the head of the clit.
“When you’re stimulating parts of the vulva, you’re also stimulating parts of the clitoris,” explains author and sex educator Tristan Toarmino.
Communication & Comfort: Talk Before Tongue
Do you know what the one skill that makes you a phenomenal lover?
Being confident and secure in communicating desires, wants, and needs is extremely attractive.
Plus, it ensures all parties have the best time.
Everyone has different preferences when it comes to how they like oral sex. Just because something worked for your past partners doesn’t mean your current one will enjoy the same things.
In the famous worlds of Key & Peele, “vaginas are like snowflakes. Snowlakes is different. Learn your b**ch’s snowflake! Ask your b**ch what she wants and do what she says.”
We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.
Giving Mindset
Approach eating her out with enthusiasm, not obligation.
This isn’t about checking a box or expecting something in return—it’s about giving pleasure because you want to.
Before you even begin, check your headspace—are you feeling relaxed, focused, and ready to make your partner feel amazing?
If you’re nervous or distracted, take a deep breath and center yourself.
Be curious. Be confident.
Let her feel like she’s being worshipped.
Receiving Mindset
It takes two to Tango, you know?
Great oral sex requires both partners to feel good in the moment.
As the receiver, your sole focus is to relax and let go.
It might feel a little vulnerable, but that’s where your pleasure will explode.
You deserve to be pleasured. No, your vagina isn’t ugly/smelly/[insert whatever other insecurity you have here].
Your partner wants to be exactly where they are—between your legs.
So, start by getting comfortable, physically and mentally.
If your mind is racing, try concentrating on your breathing. Count your inhale in (one…two…three…four…five..) and exhale out (slowly counting to five).
This can help you stay in the moment, push thoughts out of your mind, and tune into the sensations.
Think of this as an act of self-love.
You’re allowing yourself to receive pleasure, and that’s absolutely wonderful.
How to Go Down on Her: 15+ Expert Tips on How To Eat Pussy Like a Pro
Here’s how to blow her mind, every.single.time.
Foreplay & Teasing
Oral sex is considered foreplay for many heterosexual couples. However, the real pros don’t make oral sex their first move. They treat it as the main event and spend time beforehand warming up.
“You have to first wake it up and warm it up,” says Toarmino.
Start by kissing her inner thighs, hips, lower belly, and all the other erogenous zones you know drive her wild. Build anticipation. Make her guess. Extend the moment.
Teasing heightens arousal. A slow build will make the climax much more powerful for her.
Enthusiasm is Sexy
Let her know that you want to go down on her. That you love the way she smells, tastes, and sounds.
Make sure she sees, hears, and feels your hunger for her. Moan, kiss, groan. Show her you’re into it in whatever way you can.
Many people say that the hottest part of oral sex is their partner being genuinely turned on by the act.
Edging
Edging is a sexual practice of intentionally delaying an orgasm. You may wonder—why on earth would anyone want to do it?
Well, there are quite a few benefits: it heightens arousal and may make orgasms more powerful.
So, how do you edge?
While you’re going down on her, get her close… then slow down.
Once she’s calmed down, repeat the cycle.
This on-again, off-again rhythm can build intense arousal and lead to deeper, longer orgasms.
Avoid pulling away completely in the “rest periods.” Stay in touch by slowing down tongue movements or running your hands all over her body and stimulating other parts like the nipples.
Yoni Massage
Combine oral stimulation with sensual and intimate tantric massage of the yoni (Sanskrit for vulva).
This ancient massage is all about staying present and intentional with your touch. It’s the practice of slowing down and trusting each other.
Use plenty of lube. Move slowly in circles around the outer labia and all over the vulva. Keep eye contact, sync your breathing.
Take your time. Don’t rush. It’s about focusing on the present moment.
When she’s highly aroused, you can switch to oral stimulation.
Find Her G-Spot
The G-Spot is a sensitive area located about 1 to 2 inches inside the vagina, on the front wall toward the belly button.
It’s part of the clitoral network—it can lead you toward intense sexual arousal and orgasms.
Blended orgasms are super powerful and they can be achieved through blended stimulation of the clit and the G-spot.
While your mouth is busy stimulating the clit, use your fingers to caress the sensisitve spot inside.
Curl your fingers in a “come here” motion. Play with different firmness and speed to find one that makes her toes curl.
Praise and Dirty Talk
Use your mouth for more than stimulating her clit—stimulate her largest sex organ, the brain.
Tell her how good she tastes. Whisper to her how much you love the sounds she makes when she’s close to cumming.
Mix it up. Use affirmations and praises together with spicier dirty talk. By doing so, you’ll create a full-on sensory experience that stimulates her body and mind at the same time.
Touch Her Everywhere
Sure, you’re down there to eat her out. But it doesn’t mean you have to forget the rest of her!
Run your hands over her hips, stomach, and legs. Cup her breasts, fondle them. Pinch her nipples and massage them gently.
Caress the outside of her thighs. Reach for her neck (if you can) and squeeze it gently (always only with consent!). Total body stimulation will make oral feel much more immersive and intimate.
Plus, this type of greedy exploration screams to her that you’re totally into it.
Sensory Play
Sensory play can be a great addition to take oral sex to new heights of pleasure.
Use a feather, silk tie, or your fingertips and run them gently all over her body. First, the less sensitive areas, and then find your way to her vulva.
Alternating different sensations awakens nerve endings and amplifies arousal. It may even lead to full-body pleasure, not only vulva-centered climax.
Temperature Play
Remember that scene from 50 Shades of Grey where Mr. Tall, Dark, and Broody put an ice cube between his lips and dragged it along Anastasia’s body?
Yeah.
Temperature play tricks like that can heighten sensations and take oral sex from a solid 10 to 100 real quick.
Use warm breath, ice cubes, or cold/warm objects on her inner breasts, stomach, inner thigh, and vulva.
It’s a playful way to increase blood flow and have her gasping and moaning as you stimulate different sensory pathways.
Restraint and Bondage
While we’re on the topic of 50 Shades of Grey, how about introducing a little bit of gentle restraint or bondage sex?
Blindfold her. Gently tie her hands, or pin them above her head. And then explore her body.
Removing her ability to see and move freely adds a layer of complexity and makes every sensation from your mouth feel that much more intense.
Switch Up Positions
While the classic she’s on her back and you’re between her legs is great, when you want to spice things up in the bedroom, try one of these oral sex positions:
The Altar: The receiver is on their back, legs wide and lifted in the air. The giver can help hold the legs by the thighs for support or use a positioning aid while they give pleasure.
The Mirror Gaze: The receiver sits on a chair or the edge of the bed, in front of the mirror. The giver kneels between their legs and pleasures them while the receiver watches in the mirror.
The Throne: The giver is on their back, and the receiver straddles their face. The receiver has all the power and control over the speed, pressure, and rhythm.
Even making simple adjustments, such as propping her hips with a pillow or having her pull her knees to her chest, can offer new ways to stimulate and explore pleasure.
Use Toys
Have a vibrator on hand and use it on her to switch up the sensations.
Use a small vobrator on her clit while you focus on the G-spot stimulation. Use a G-spot vibe internally while you lick and suck the clit.
She’s anal lover? Well, why not add a butt plug into the mix?
Consider edible flavored lubes and arousal serums that offer added sensations.
Remember: Toys and tools like lubes are your best friends, not a competition!
Make Her Squirt
If you’re both curious and open to it, why not explore her ability to squirt? No pressure here, but it can be a fun and intimate journey to embrace as a couple.
Have a towel handy, make sure she’s hydrated, and take your time.
This process can’t be rushed!
If you’re not sure how to make her squirt, check out our expert guide on squirting to learn the best techniques.
Multiple Orgasms
Who doesn’t like the idea of cumming again, and again… and again?
After she climaxed, don’t stop (unless she asks you to).
Soften your tongue, slow the rhythm, and wait for her to recover.
Many women can have multiple orgasms, especially with consistent clitoral stimulation and full-body touch.
See how many times you can make her scream in one night.
Oral Sex Techniques to Try
“Your mouth is very versatile. You’ve got your lips. You’ve got your entire mouth. And don’t underestimate a well-placed nose,” says Toarmino.
Here are some oral sex techniques to try:
Push and pull: “Wrap your lips around the clitoral hood and glans. Then you’re going to want to apply a little bit of suction, gently. Then pull away with your mouth. Push back in. Pull away. Keep repeating this pattern,” explains Toarmino.
Flat tongue licks: Flatten your tongue against the vulva, at the bottom, and make your way up. Broad, slow, and steady.
Flick the clit: Sharpen your tongue. Use light, fast movements with the very tip of your tongue to flick the clit up and down and side to side.
Suck the clit: Gently cup your lips around the clit and suck. Alternate between soft suction and more intense suction.
Alphabeth method: With your tongue, spell out letters of the alphabet. Cheesy? Sure. Effective? Hell yeah!
Notice she moans louder during one of these techniques? Give her more of it.
What Not to Do (Gentle Warnings)
Now that we’ve discussed how to blow her mind, let’s talk about things to avoid doing that may ruin the experience.
Don’t Bite
Keep your teeth to yourself!
Even playful nibbling on the clit can feel painful for super sensitive people. You wouldn’t want someone scraping their teeth or other sharp objects over your genitals, right?
So, be mindful of your partner’s intimate areas, too!
Unless she asks for teeth, because she loves a little painful pleasure, steer clear.
Not Enough or Too Much Pressure
Going too soft will mean she can’t get enough stimulation to orgasm.
Going too hard will mean she may get overstimulated, and it may feel painful, and she won’t be able to orgasm.
You have to find the right balance between soft and hard.
Pressure should be firm, but gentle. Don’t flap your tongue around like a helicopter.
Ignoring Her Cues
A very common mistake is ignoring the cues from your partner.
When she’s guiding your head, grinding against your face, or pulling away, she’s communicating with you! Pay attention.
Put your ego aside, and be receptive and responsive to her body cues.
If she starts to moan louder, do more of whatever you’re doing.
And as Key & Peele said: “When she grab your hair like she gonna pull your damn head off… stick with that letter!”
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